another crappy training today.
thinking about it makes me want to cry again.
nowadays there seem to be alot of waterworks from me during trainings.
-sigh

started off with physical with coach zhang.
15 sets of stairs again, to fourth level.
not as tiring as last time though.
then weights.
tiring.

then did throwing, with coach.
i realise my throwing is really off.
not the footwork and stuff, but the throwing and flicking alone.
coach was really mad.
had to go to the mirror to see my mistake cause my throwing was, as she said, awkward.
and then i finally saw my mistake. yes, it took me a year to realise what exactly was wrong. my pushing, my stiff flicking, how tense i am.
-thanks sarah. for the patience.
coach got mad again, when she saw how totally clueless i was.
and i dont think the reason why i just understood exactly how throwing is supposed to be isn't cause i didnt do enough homework.
i really dont know why.
maybe when coach was teaching, i didnt listen. but i kinda doubt so.
or maybe it was just that no one corrected me at the beginning of the year and thus it became a habit, and coach was too pissed by the thought that i didnt do homework to reallyreally correct me.
the softballers cheered me up though .
sighh.
andand the reason why i cried isnt cause im mad at coach okay.
i was just mad at myself for the horrible throwing.

then batting.
no need to elaborate.

im too depressed about my throwing.
and when i tried again just now, i dont know how to flick properly.
i need sarah's help again.
thank goodness there's bonding during the two-week break.
then the rest can see whether i improved.
-sigh
in the bus and mrt ride home, i thought about my throwing again.
which made me cry again.
so i think i cried about three times today.
gosh i sound so fragile .
and escape today sounded like loads and loads of fun
-SIGH

luckily though, that coach hasnt given up on me,
and coach zhang is always encouraging me.
and the only good thing today is after training at video world .
HEH .
haha
okay
bye.